Photo Prompt © Dale Rogerson
A rose and a thorn by Kelvin M. Knight
‘Go play while we pack, there’s a good girl.’
Flowers? Boring. Cardboard boxes, now they were fun. They became walls, bursting with adventure and danger. They even collapsed. Now they surrounded her, entombed her. Their emptiness filled her. She punched and kicked them but they just flapped their arms and legs at her, sliced her shins and forearms. Tears pricked her cheeks when she heard their muffled laughter. Dropping to her knees, she pushed her palms together and prayed, like all good girls should pray, not for grace and goodness, but for lungs like bellows.
‘MUMMY, DADDY! RESCUE ME NOW!’
(100 words)
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Thank you to everyone for joining in this week (04/08/17), and reading / liking / commenting on each other’s stories. You don’t have to be a Friday Fictioneer to read / like / comment on the stories so please don’t be shy, there is a mix of styles and storylines all inspired by the same photo.
Thanks, as ever, to Rochelle for hosting Friday Fictioneers so congenially.
Nasty boxes, these. I love every word of this, the child’s imagination is perfect.
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Ahhh… thanks gahlearner, you have put such a warm smile on my face. 😊
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That’s a twist. From now on it’s only manufactured plastic toys from Korea for us. Damn, I love cardboard.
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Dear Kelvin,
It never ceased to amaze me that while we’d spend money for sophisticated toys, the kids’ favorites were large boxes. Sounds like this little one found herself in something of a predicament. Delightful spin on the prompt.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Lovely child’s eye view of the situation there, Kelvin – we were right there with her. Great tale
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Good story, and scary.
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The very first words just draw you in and then how quickly it escalates, how dramatic! Lungs! Hell yeah we do need those lungs! Great story again 🙂
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Haha – thank you for reading, enjoying, and commenting 🙂
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My pleasure 🙂 it was a great read 🙂
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This brings back memories of making refrigerator boxes into forts. I love how the boxes became characters “they just flapped their arms and legs at her, sliced her shins and forearms.” A delightfully different take.
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I wanted to bring to life the cardboard and I did for you for that I am grateful. 😇
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Loved the descriptions of the boxes and the girls play. Sad that it turned so ugly, as things sometimes do.
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Wonderful picture in my mind of one of my grandchildren playing in a pile of boxes following a move. Very believable.
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This is cute. I love how you depicted her prayer. Again, another tightly written story evoking emotion.
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A most interesting and original take, Kelvin!
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It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt… 🙂
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Sounds like the voice of experience, drailman 😉 Thanks for commenting.
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Beautifully written , Kelvin.Also , it’s really unique,the card board box as the centrepiece was beautifully different . You have described the little girl’s struggles, trapped inside the box ,wonderfully.🙂
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Thank you, Moon, so kind of you to say so. I did want to do something different from the murderers and stalkers and lovers that these flowers have spawned, using a viewpoint ad voice I hadn’t yet read. 🙂
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The transition from innocent child to terrified child was quick and very well-portrayed!
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Girls should learn to shout loud ….
That is an important message – especially in some parts of this world.
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Speaking up is important, that’s true. Shouting up, sometimes is the only way.
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