The Zealous Caretaker #WhatPegmanSaw

This week Pegman takes us to St. Petersburg, Russia.

There’s an abundance of both street view and photo spheres in this beautiful city. The inside of the Church of Our Savior on Spilled Blood is worth seeing! Feel free to stroll around the area using the Google street view and grab any picture you like for your post.

Your job is to write a 150-word (or less) story about this week’s chosen location. Where will you take your readers? You’re invited to join the talented writers of Pegman this week in St. Petersburg, Russia.

To enjoy this week’s stories or to submit your own, visit the inLinkz button:


The Zealous Caretaker by Kelvin M. Knight

The way the congregational tourists mooched about the nave made him sigh. Their subdued pointing. Their downtrodden eyes. He wanted to leap up and dance like Rasputin.

Hands tingling, he remained on his chair while his gaze pranced skyward. The ceiling swirled. Murals smudged. Golds blended with teals. Heads entwined with limbs. Halos brighter than dawn blossomed then tumbled like feathers. When one touched him, he leapt from his chair.

Unable to stop his arms gesticulating, he exclaimed, ‘Spirituality isn’t about these riches on display, it’s about the riches we need to display inside ourselves!’ He pointed at each ethereal feather falling toward them. ‘Say hello to your halo. Let these lights shine in your eyes, for a moment, just a moment, by letting go of your frustrations and fears!’

Their silence boomed misunderstanding.

Eyes widening, he slumped in his chair and realised he’d seen more joy at yesterday’s funeral.

(150 words)

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20 thoughts on “The Zealous Caretaker #WhatPegmanSaw

  1. Dear Kelvin,

    Joy is often found outside the church walls, isn’t it? How many who claim spirituality sing the Psalmist’s words with pursed lips and somber faces. Clearly, many times in the Hebrew where the words are translated ‘rejoice’ the true meaning is ‘to dance.’ Scandalous. 😉 Beautiful bit of writing, sir. I was both entertained and uplifted. Looking for my feather.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Such sumptuous word-painting picking up on the decoration of the church – gorgeous! The idea of the haloes shedding feathers, that become haloes for the visitors – brilliant!
    Mystical experiences are wonderful for the person experiencing them, but terribly difficult to communicate. I’m sure your protagonist felt that what he was saying was blindingly obvious – but, of course, it wasn’t, hence his disappointment.
    You describe the experience eloquently, and it’s a beautiful piece of writing. I loved reading it. Ultimately, though, do you think it’s possible to convey the reality of such experiences in a way that will make sense to someone who has never experienced them? Not that it matters; the writing stands on its own merits as worth reading and re-reading just for pleasure.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your gracious feedback, Penny.

      Hmmm – that’s a really interesting question. Without too much forethought, I guess my answer is yes. As a writer, I think my job is twofold: firstly, as an entertainer, the arts are after alll, an entertainment industry; secondly, to reveal truths hidden, aspects that are part of our human condition, revealing something about human nature.

      Ultimately all story types are the same:person going on a journey; stranger coming to town.

      And there are a finite number of emotions. I suppose the thought in this story was not to be disappointed when things you think carefully and passionately about and are compelled to say are not misunderstood The beauty of the written word is it can be read again, and again, with new understanding, in a different frame of mind, with different emotions at play. I hope.

      I always hope.

      Thank you, Penny. Answering your question has been really helpful to me, and others, I hope.

      Like

      1. If one can achieve that feat, to be able to describe such surreal experiences, i feel s/he has achieved something really great. Please share your viewpoint as i am a novice,i feel we mostly express through simileys, comparison. If you have experienced something you have no earthly comparison, what adjectives and adverbs will you describe it with? what if there is an emotion which we are unaware of, apart from the limited ones we know? Just a random musing of mine….

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Kelvin, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with your story. Vivid colors, mixed-up limbs, feathers, halos, and Rasputin. I loved the confusion, the silence, the desire of this man to stay quiet but finding it quite impossible. And that last line makes the day seem so extremely glum. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah, thank you Alicia – nearly called you Lish but that is too familiar? Yes, he returned to glumness, but I have a sneaky suspicion he will have another outburst, at another time, and another time, until someone hears him and encourages and supports him to steer his faith somewhere important.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Don’t worry, I confused myself as well, too tired Kelvin , off to bed, 12.40am….. snooze time….. maybe I’ll dream up another silly Dragon story….

        Like

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