Picture of English Garden Entrance by Trevor D from Google Maps
Loving Myself
© Kelvin M. Knight, 2019
There’s this garden before me I long to enter, one bursting with scents that make me feel alive.
Behind that perfect picket fence, blood-red roses grin at me. Behind them, a crazy-paving path zigzags across an immaculate lawn before circling a cottage which has the neatest of thatched roofs and the whitest of walls.
Around and around, flowers of every variety are weaved into collages by bees dragging pearls of pollen, while butterflies with angels’ wings dance and birds sing the most heavenly song.
Inside the cottage, children giggle, adults too. Their good humour makes me want to hurl this wretched broken boot away and stomp forward.
I could.
I should.
I would love to enter this divine garden, join all those souls who passed me, but I am not good enough, I have never been good enough. And yet, it is entirely too lonely here to give up trying.
(150 words)
The above story was written in response to the What Pegman Saw prompt, which this week took us to:
Manitoba, Canada
You are warmly invited to the Inlinkz link party to read other globetrotting contributors’ stories inspired by this week’s prompt.
Thank you, as ever, Karen and Josh, for hosting this great weekly prompt, and for everyone who takes part.
Hi Kelvin, I took a look around your blog and wanted to let you know about Transfigured Lit—a Christian flash journal. It’s still pretty new and I’m looking folks interested in submitting. I hope you and your followers will stop by and check it out here on WordPress.
Gene Brode, Jr.
http://Www.transfiguredlit.wordpress.com
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Thanks for taking a peek around, Gene. I shall have a gander. Nice to get to know you a bit through your newsletters.
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Well I appreciate you signing up and hope you’re enjoying the newsletter. I have wanted to do so much more with it, but it’s more involved than just posting on social media. Catch you around!
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Wow! That is an awesome write! Great encouragement, too! 🙂 ❤ Have a great week!
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Thank you kindly, Jelli. Encouragement is so important. I shall and the same to you.
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What a calm tranquil scene you paint, until we realize the longing boy is cast in bronze and unable to fulfill his dreams.
Such a grand metaphor for our willful, stubborn, clumsy inability to step forward to a more spiritual realm with our own feet of clay.
Yet you give us hope that the boy will break free of his bonds someday, the bronze melted away with kindness and self-love.
Reminds of the parable of the lilies in the field–all our posturing and oneupmanship is vanity, when all we need to do is exist and reflect goodness.
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Andrea, Andrea you comments always make me smile with their depth and sincerity. You are spot on, of course!
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Thanks Kelvin!
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Beautifully written and described and I want to take the boot from him and knock him in the behind myself. That self-doubt and feeling unworthy are things that must leave his body.
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They must. He knows this. It’s difficult though. But your loving touch may well help. Thanks for commenting, Dale!
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Dear Kelvin,
I hope he can let go and allow himself to embrace the beauty. This piece fired on all cylinders and appealed to all of the senses. I could smell the roses as well as see them. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you for such a lovely comment, Rochelle. Firing on all cylinders is good for me.
Shalom
Kelvin
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I like the idea of the person not giving up “trying” – and even though I tire of hearing people talk about not being good enough (yawn – and thank goodness that is where God comes in — it is him through and in us that brings success – eh? – but I do understand that many folks wrestle ongoing with this and maybe need a swift boot in the – um, I mean – maybe need to be reminded like you reminded here…)
—
My favorite part was the
“make me feel alive” line – and then you mentioned all these things that indicate vibrant LIFE
the blood
the buzzing bees
the blooms
etc.
__
And of course we have K to the Two’s signature style with descriptions all your own:
like –
dragging pearls of pollen, while butterflies with angels’ wings dance
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Oh Y your comment is so lovely. Y! That’s Y factorial if you’re not mathematically minded.
And I do agree His success is the truest measure. All the weights on the scales are His. 🙏
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I love the “y factorial”
And the weight and scales –
And wishing you a nice weekend my friend
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A poignant piece of yearning here. Hopefully, he will realize that it’s the judgment itself and not its result that keeps him from acceptance. Such lessons are often a long time in coming, alas.
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Acceptance is key, Josh, in oneself and others. And steering away from being judgemental. Vital lessons. Tough ones to learn definitely. And even when learnt they are difficult to apply every time.
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I love the visuals and emotions you painted in this story — such a magical place, such longing to be there. I’ve just finished a book of “newly discovered” fairy tales (by Franz Xaver von Schonwerth) which led me to read this with a fairy tale spin. I imagined the boy was cursed into a statue, doomed to gaze upon what he wanted but be unable to go there. But instead of waiting to someone else to come break the curse (like most hapless souls in the old fairy tales), he can break it himself any time. All he has to do is believe in himself and he will be free to follow his dream. But oh, that can seem an impossible quest sometimes!
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Brilliant, Joy, what a lovely critique. So glad you are in new fairy tale mould rather than old. And yes, the answer always lies within us, buried deep often, but it is there. it is always there, all we need do is love ourselves, truly love ourselves, which is often the hardest thing to do!
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This is what I love about fairy tales and fantasy more generally, is how it can be used to portray an everyday situation or challenge in a new way, which might resonate and have more impact than the same old messages that people can become inured to.
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What a beautiful, heavenly place you lead us to…I want to be there, would like all of us to be there 🌈💞
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Me too, CarlyK, me too. All together. Getting along. One big happy joyful family. Where everyone is themselves and find that joy and peace within.
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Ah, unworthiness. The evocative language really took me there, Kelvin. I especially loved the collage of flowers. But what I enjoyed most of all is how you captured the sense of self-imposed unworthiness that everyone(?) battles with from time to time. Beautifully done.
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Oh Karen, right on the button as always. Unworthiness can make us feel statuesque sometimes… often… all of us… when we are honest with ourselves. Success is so highly sought after unworthiness is inevitable. Isn’t it? Glad you saw the beauty in my story, my humble message.
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oh so good – be back to reply more in a bit –
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Looking forward to it, Y!
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I love the idea of the garden as a collage of flowers.
And you can enter the garden. Offer an open heart to friends and together you can find the gate in the picket fence.
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Hey Penny, how lovely to see you. And how lovely to open my heart to you and be led to that fence. Shall we step through together?
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I saw that garden, I know that garden, with the paving, and the flowers, and the thatch, and the pearls of pollen (love that line). I think I’ve passed it several times while walking. But though I stand and look, no one invites me in. I think I’m akin to the boy with the boot. Ho-hum, hey.
That was a beautiful take on the prompt. Mine, as you’ll see on Monday when I post it, is somewhat more basic. 🙂
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I am sure it will be entertaining. And more some. 😎
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I’m not sure the shades are needed. Or is that against the snow’s glare?
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Haha maybe. Or it could be the lovely sunlight in that garden. 🌈🌞
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Yea. Reflecting off the flowers, and the droplets of dew in prismatic glows.
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