Posted in what pegman saw

LOVING MYSELF

Posted on by Kelvin M. Knight's blog

Picture of English Garden Entrance by Trevor D from Google Maps

Loving Myself

© Kelvin M. Knight, 2019

There’s this garden before me I long to enter, one bursting with scents that make me feel alive.

Behind that perfect picket fence, blood-red roses grin at me. Behind them, a crazy-paving path zigzags across an immaculate lawn before circling a cottage which has the neatest of thatched roofs and the whitest of walls.

Around and around, flowers of every variety are weaved into collages by bees dragging pearls of pollen, while butterflies with angels’ wings dance  and birds sing the most heavenly song.

Inside the cottage, children giggle, adults too. Their good humour makes me want to hurl this wretched broken boot away and stomp forward.

I could.

I should.

I would love to enter this divine garden, join all those souls who passed me, but I am not good enough, I have never been good enough. And yet, it is entirely too lonely here to give up trying.

(150 words)

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The above story was written in response to the What Pegman Saw prompt, which this week took us to:

Manitoba, Canada

You are warmly invited to the Inlinkz link party to read other globetrotting contributors’  stories inspired by this week’s prompt.

Click here to enter

Thank you, as ever, Karen and Josh, for hosting this great weekly prompt, and for everyone who takes part.

Author:

First and foremost I am a reader, then a storyteller. My reading tastes are eclectic. My writing can focus around the intimacy of closed settings and may tend towards characters who might be hiding something from themselves.

33 thoughts on “LOVING MYSELF”

  3. What a calm tranquil scene you paint, until we realize the longing boy is cast in bronze and unable to fulfill his dreams.

    Such a grand metaphor for our willful, stubborn, clumsy inability to step forward to a more spiritual realm with our own feet of clay.

    Yet you give us hope that the boy will break free of his bonds someday, the bronze melted away with kindness and self-love.

    Reminds of the parable of the lilies in the field–all our posturing and oneupmanship is vanity, when all we need to do is exist and reflect goodness.

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  4. Beautifully written and described and I want to take the boot from him and knock him in the behind myself. That self-doubt and feeling unworthy are things that must leave his body.

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  5. Dear Kelvin,

    I hope he can let go and allow himself to embrace the beauty. This piece fired on all cylinders and appealed to all of the senses. I could smell the roses as well as see them. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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  6. I like the idea of the person not giving up “trying” – and even though I tire of hearing people talk about not being good enough (yawn – and thank goodness that is where God comes in — it is him through and in us that brings success – eh? – but I do understand that many folks wrestle ongoing with this and maybe need a swift boot in the – um, I mean – maybe need to be reminded like you reminded here…)
    —
    My favorite part was the
    “make me feel alive” line – and then you mentioned all these things that indicate vibrant LIFE
    the blood
    the buzzing bees
    the blooms
    etc.
    __
    And of course we have K to the Two’s signature style with descriptions all your own:
    like –
    dragging pearls of pollen, while butterflies with angels’ wings dance

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  8. I love the visuals and emotions you painted in this story — such a magical place, such longing to be there. I’ve just finished a book of “newly discovered” fairy tales (by Franz Xaver von Schonwerth) which led me to read this with a fairy tale spin. I imagined the boy was cursed into a statue, doomed to gaze upon what he wanted but be unable to go there. But instead of waiting to someone else to come break the curse (like most hapless souls in the old fairy tales), he can break it himself any time. All he has to do is believe in himself and he will be free to follow his dream. But oh, that can seem an impossible quest sometimes!

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    1. Brilliant, Joy, what a lovely critique. So glad you are in new fairy tale mould rather than old. And yes, the answer always lies within us, buried deep often, but it is there. it is always there, all we need do is love ourselves, truly love ourselves, which is often the hardest thing to do!

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      1. This is what I love about fairy tales and fantasy more generally, is how it can be used to portray an everyday situation or challenge in a new way, which might resonate and have more impact than the same old messages that people can become inured to.

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  10. Ah, unworthiness. The evocative language really took me there, Kelvin. I especially loved the collage of flowers. But what I enjoyed most of all is how you captured the sense of self-imposed unworthiness that everyone(?) battles with from time to time. Beautifully done.

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    1. Oh Karen, right on the button as always. Unworthiness can make us feel statuesque sometimes… often… all of us… when we are honest with ourselves. Success is so highly sought after unworthiness is inevitable. Isn’t it? Glad you saw the beauty in my story, my humble message.

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  13. I saw that garden, I know that garden, with the paving, and the flowers, and the thatch, and the pearls of pollen (love that line). I think I’ve passed it several times while walking. But though I stand and look, no one invites me in. I think I’m akin to the boy with the boot. Ho-hum, hey.
    That was a beautiful take on the prompt. Mine, as you’ll see on Monday when I post it, is somewhat more basic. 🙂

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