Posted in what pegman saw

THAT SUNSET

Rasgado’s Jazz Club, Baía Farta, Angola by

Claudio González Jorge, Google Maps


THAT SUNSET

© Kelvin M. Knight, 2019

This sand, this golden golden sand, how it kissed their knees and hands. Working apart, they patted and pushed, slapped and squeezed. As the tide crept out, this magical sand rose into an amazing tower, one that had been in their eyes from the beginning.

People milled around them, nodding and gasping, pointing and smiling, but they continued obliviously until their tower was the perfect height. Only then did they lift the object that had been between them all this time, and, on tiptoe, carefully place it at the top of their tower.

The tide surged forwards. Silently they moved a stone’s throw from their tower. When the waves chomped at its base, he was the first to bow his head and sob. Trembling, she reached out for her father’s hand. Moments later, their shrivelling tower toppled and the ashes of her mother slid gracefully out to sea.

(148 words)


The above story was written in response to the What Pegman Saw prompt, which this week took us to:

Angola, Africa

You are warmly invited to the Inlinkz link party to read other globetrotting contributors’  stories inspired by this week’s prompt.

Click here to enter

Thank you, as ever, Karen and Josh, for hosting this great weekly prompt, and for everyone who takes part.

Author:

First and foremost I am a reader, then a storyteller. My reading tastes are eclectic. My writing can focus around the intimacy of closed settings and may tend towards characters who might be hiding something from themselves.

35 thoughts on “THAT SUNSET

    1. Thank you Penny, does that mean my la’ll story is sensually spiritual?!

      Sorry for the delay in replying, my friend, I have been on a seven week charity event and final edit of my latest anthology – This State In Me which this week went out to my beta readers I would be honoured if you would cast your eye over it too, but no pressure.

      Hope you and yours are keeping well.

      Take care.

      Shalom

      Kelvin

      Like

    1. Thank you Lynn. Reiterating is good as it means a chord has been struck, I think. Sorry for my absence of late, been on a seven week sabbatical (editing my latest collection of flash fiction This Statue In Me and licking my wounds after the Bridport Prize) But. BUT. Well done you on your second serialisation in the People’s Friend – how do you feel about that?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well done for editing your second flash collection – that’s a wonderful achievement and something you should be very proud of. Not everyone who says they want to write gets on with doing something towards it so you should be very pleased with yourself. As for Bridport, well you know, it’s one of the toughest ones to get listed in – a big prize, big kudos, attracting a lot of entries. I have never even tried it because I have a feeling my writing just isn’t right for these big literary awards – too genre, not ‘deep’ enough, if you know what I mean. But that doesn’t mean that you or I are any less good writers for that – it’s all just so subjective. You could always give People’s Friend a go, you know. They’re a rare weekly fiction magazine in having submissions open to anyone. They’ve been fabulous to work with. I’d recommend it, truly. All good luck and thanks again Kelvin

        Liked by 1 person

  1. such a pleasant twist at the end – I mean sad and all – but the topic of death was presented eloquently –
    and then also words alive and all active –
    and reading a couple more times (cos short fiction begs a few reads – eh?)
    well the “patted and pushed, slapped and squeezed” took on a different vibe once it had the grief connection.
    enjoyed it

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Y. Your comments are always so thoughtful and connected and heartfelt. And yes, getting more value on a second or third read is a joy of short fiction.

      By the way, I loved the review I saw on Dee William’s blog, over on the Carrot Ranch Literary Community site, and I got to see a piccy of you too! And lots of info. There’s no hiding now!!

      Take care, amigo.

      K to the 2

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh got it – and that was something I had meaning to get to for weeks and finally buckled down and got the questions answered –!! It was like never a good time – and so you know how sometimes we just have to pause and make it happen.
        Anyhow – so glad to connect today – K to the 2!!

        Like

      1. At this point, Kelvin, I’d go for almost anything. Part time would be better, something that coincides with Hubby’s work schedule would be optimal to save on the cost of hiring a driver for him.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Quietly moving story. I loved the physicality of the first part, not just seeing but feeling them build the sand castle, and the foreshadowing of the mysterious object placed on top of the castle, and the emotional punch at the end when what they’ve been doing is revealed, casting a new glow onto the whole tale.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Exactly what I wanted to do, Joy. Quietly moving. Yes exactly. Thanks for you thoughtful, and dare I say, soulful, comment. And sorry for the delay in responding – I have been on a seven week sabbatical. Hope you and your writing worlds are all tickety boo.

      Liked by 1 person

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